


Dear John

by Skylar0Grace



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-27 18:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar0Grace/pseuds/Skylar0Grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam find some letters that lead to an interesting discovery about their father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear John

**Author's Note:**

> Part Two is in the process of being written and patience is a virtue :P

* * *

Bobby placed the well-worn book onto the coffee table and followed Dean and Sam as all three men collapsed onto the surrounding lounges. They’d just fought one of the largest battles of their lives and all three men were covered from head to toe in cuts and bruises. Dean had a stab wound that had been bandaged and Bobby was limping slightly but they had walked away with the book the demons were so intent on keeping, so it was a win in their eyes. Defeat the evil, save the world – all in a day’s work. Sam groaned before sitting up.

“Should we destroy it?”

Bobby glanced up at him with knowledgeable eyes. “No, I don’t think so. It’s a pretty darn powerful book but it could make all the diff’rence if we need to stop the world from endin’ again.”

“Well, we can’t just keep it here. Where on earth can we put it where it’ll be safe?”

A short silence filled the room before Dean spoke with a tired voice. “The lock-up.”

Sam sat up quickly and Bobby looked over at him, though Dean remained lying down with his eyes closed.

“Someone has already stolen from there once; I don’t exactly think it’s the safest place.”

“But they weren’t demons and that’s who we’re looking to keep it away from. Face it, Dad did a good job keeping it hidden and there probably isn’t many other places safer that we can get to easily enough if we have to.”

Bobby shrugged and conceded and Sam stared at Dean. “I didn’t know you still kept that.”

Dean opened one eye. “There’s a lot you don’t know Sammy.” He closed the eye again. “We should move it soon. I say we take an hour’s break before heading out. We can be there by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna head back to the site tomorrow and make sure everythin’ that’s supposed to be dead ain’t walking around, bury the remains and all. There should be a couple of curse boxes that your Dad didn’t use so put the book in one of ‘em. You boys just make sure you get to that lock-up safe, you hear?”

When he got no response he looked around and saw Dean and Sam both asleep on their lounges. Bobby smiled and closed his eyes.

* * *

Dean’s eyes darted around once more before he opened the lock-up and hurried Sam inside. They quickly manoeuvred their way through the items on the ground and around the shelves before Dean pulled one of the larger boxes off of the shelf. He shook it lightly before opening it and putting the book inside. He heard a loud thud and turned around to see Sam opening a cardboard box that he’d pulled from the bottom shelf of shelving unit opposite him.

“What are you doing?”

Sam pulled out a stack of papers and gave a small frown. “This box didn’t feel too heavy and when I opened it, I saw mostly old photos and stuff but these are letters.”

Dean raised a disinterested eyebrow and carefully put the curse box on a high shelf. “And…”

“And, they’re not from Mum.”

Dean turned around slowly and reached for the letters. Sam pulled away from him and looked at the last envelope.

“The last one was dated at the beginning of 2001,” Sam turned it over, “and it’s not even opened yet.”

He opened the only sealed envelope in the stack, inherently knowing that what he was reading was being read for the first time. His eyes skimmed over the letter before he looked up at Dean with wide eyes. Dean snatched the letter from his brother’s hands as Sam still stared in shock.

_Dear John,_

_I know that you’ve probably got a lot on your plate at the moment with Sam and Dean but I really need you to come back here. There’s something big about to happen and although Buffy is telling me not to worry, I can see it in her eyes – she’s scared. I don’t think that being the Slayer is going to help her this time._

_We just got word that there’s a hell god coming after us. She wants something that Buffy’s protecting, that we’re all protecting but I can’t tell you what it is in a letter. She’s stronger than Buffy and as a mother I’ve gone on high alert. I don’t know what you can do to help but I think we need as many resources as possible._

_I don’t want my daughter to die again, John. Neither of us wants to outlive our kids and I know you would understand that. Please help._

_Joyce._

Dean read the letter again before looking up at Sam. “A Slayer.”

Sam nodded. “Did you know that Dad knew the Slayer?”

Dean shook his head and looked at the postage mark on the envelope. Sunnydale. He frowned as he tried to recall why that town sounded familiar and when he did he held it out to Sam.

“It came from Sunnydale. That place went under in ’03, nothing but a big crater left now but that was two years after this letter. Do you think she was killed?”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe Dad never went back there. It was never opened so he didn’t read it.”

There was a small silence as each man was left to his own thoughts before Dean looked at the room they were in. They were standing in what was left of their father’s memories. Everything of value he’d collected in his life he’d stored in this protected space. The thought left Dean to remember just how much he missed his father and he took a deep breath before turning to Sam.

“Okay, let’s get out of here. We should probably head out and find a motel. I don’t know about you but I’m beat. We can look for a new case tomorrow morning.”

Sam nodded distractedly before following Dean out to the Impala. Dean rolled his eyes as he saw Sam shifting through the stack on envelopes in his hand.

“These letters go back over ten years.”

Dean turned the engine and shrugged. “So?”

“So? You’re not interested?”

Dean shook his head. “For a long time we didn’t know about Ellen and Jo either. Dad had contacts everywhere; why does this surprise you?”

Sam was silent for a long time and Dean concentrated on getting through the traffic as he looked for a motel. He finally spotted a familiar sign for a motel that they’d stayed at before and Dean had pulled into the carpark and secured them a room before Sam even spoke.

Now that he had these letters in his hand, he was a little worried about reading them. Letters were so personal and Sam hadn’t really known his mother but he’d believed that his Dad had loved her enough to give up his life to track down the thing that killed her. What if he’d found someone else?

Dean closed the trunk to the Impala heavily and raised an eyebrow at his brother. Sam got out of the car and headed to their room with Dean.

“Do you think we should look her up?”

Dean closed the motel door behind them and frowned at him. “Joyce?”

“No, this girl - Buffy?”

Dean dropped their bags unceremoniously on the floor and dropped down onto the bed. “She’s probably dead Sam. You know how it is; they only live a few years at most before something eventually takes them out. That last letter was eight years ago and she was about to take down a hell god. I doubt she’s still alive.”

Sam took out his laptop and began typing away on the computer as Dean closed his eyes and put an arm over them to block out the light. He was physically exhausted and his body was screaming for some sleep. The typing on the keyboard was repetitive and Dean found himself soon drifting off to sleep.

“Dean!”

Dean grumpily opened his eyes as he was pulled from his sleep. He looked at the bedside clock and saw the red 4:50 glaring at him. He, in turn, glared at Sam.

“You haven’t even slept yet, have you?” he accused.

Sam ignored him. “I know why the letters stopped,” he said, holding up the pile of envelopes for emphasis.

“Sam -”

“She died.”

Dean sat up and his eyes narrowed. “You didn’t get any sleep and woke me from mine to tell me that some contact of Dad’s from years ago, died.”

“I found an obituary in the paper. It was less than a fortnight after she mailed this letter. I managed to pull up some medical records from the insurance company and it seems she had an aneurysm. She’d already been dealing with a brain tumour that they removed through surgery and this was just a complication.”

Dean stood. “Why are you so invested in this, dude? It was years ago. If it had been important, Dad would have told us.”

“Would he?” Sam challenged. “He never told us about Ellen or Jo. Think about all of the hunts that could have been quicker, about the people we could have saved, if we’d had their help earlier.”

Dean sat silently and Sam took that as a cue to continue. “Anyway, the obit says she was survived by two daughters, Buffy and Dawn, and there’s nothing about either one until a couple of years later. Sunnydale High reopens and a Dawn Summers was registered as a student, while a Buffy Summers was employed as a school counsellor. Less than a year later, the school closes just before the town sinks. There’s a register for those that survived the disaster but neither one is mentioned.”

“There you go. If it was the Slayer, she probably went down with whatever sunk the town.”

“I didn’t say that was all.” Dean blearily rubbed his eyes and fell backwards on the bed as he continued to listen to his brother. “Anyway, about four years ago, a new school opens up in Cleveland. It’s a private school, which shouldn’t really be all that newsworthy, but the school managed to acquire a large amount of land, some of it protected council land, on which to build the school. It’s an all-girl’s boarding school with girls from all over the world attending and the principal is none other than a Miss Buffy Summers.”

“And?”

Sam stared at Dean shocked. “Don’t you see what this means? Joyce mentions sometime in ’99 about Buffy being the Slayer for a couple of years. She’s gotta be the longest living Slayer in history.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Look, she’d make a great ally but who’s to say she’d even want to know us? If she’s as good as you say she is, she’s got her own issues. There’s gotta be all sorts of demons coming after her.”

Dean tried to roll over but Sam stood and waved a piece of paper in his face. Dean swatted it away but a moment later it was back again. “What?!”

“Read them Dean. I’m gonna get a couple of hours sleep before we head out.”

“Head out where?”

Sam slumped onto his bed and rolled away from Dean. “Cleveland.”

* * *

_Dear John,_

_I’m leaving Los Angeles and by extension, Hank. I know it will come as a bit of a shock but I thought that if you didn’t hear it from me, you’d probably hear it from him. I got offered a job in California and I couldn’t think of a reason to stay so I’m taking the girls and we’re leaving next week._

_We had some trouble with Buffy getting expelled after she burnt down the school gym. Luckily no one was hurt but she took off with a boy I didn’t even know she was seeing and when she came back a week later we tried grounding her but it seemed to have no affect. I think this divorce has really gotten to her and both Hank and I were worried when she started talking about vampires and demons so we had to institutionalise her. It broke my heart to think that my actions are having such devastating consequences on my little girl – I didn’t realise that I’d neglected her so much that I’d missed the signs._

_Dawn’s at least not acting out but I think she’s still a bit too young to fully understand this. I’ve tried to protect her as much as I can from what’s been going on but if I missed so much with Buffy, how do I know I haven’t missed signs from Dawn?_

_Hank’s going to stay here with his job, and mistress, so he’ll be easy to reach but I put my new address on the back of the envelope. It’s a small town called Sunnydale – well, it’s smaller than here, and there are good schools there for the girls and a great job lined up in the art museum for me. You are always more than welcome to drop by and I’d love to one day meet your boys. I know your job keeps you on the road a lot but there will always warm meal ready and I’m sure Dean and Sam would get on well with my girls._

_I hope that we see you soon in Sunnydale._

_Joyce._

* * *

_Dear John,_

_I’m going to hold you to that promise. And if I hear that you’ve been anywhere near my town without stopping by, you will have one very disappointed friend. I’m sorry that Dean broke his arm. I know how tough that is. Buffy broke hers when she was twelve and she complained until we got the cast off. I’m sure Dean’s not too worried about how fashionable it is so I think you’ve dodged a bullet there. Just make sure you remind him to drive a little slower next time._

_I’m still a little worried about Buffy. She has a couple of nice friends that I’ve met and they seem a lot different than the ones she usually had. Willow likes to read and Xander is very goofy so it is a welcome change from the cheerleaders and footballers that I used to see paraded around here but her principal has his doubts. He says that she’s a troublemaker and he thinks she’s joined a gang. A gang attacked a parent/teachers night at the school a little while ago and she seemed to know them, she even tried to fight them off when they refused to let us go home. It had me a little concerned._

_I’ve been reading every parenting book I can get my hands on and trying to watch her as much as possible without appearing to be watching her and she doesn’t seem like she’s doing drugs or anything so I guess I should be grateful for that. Hank hasn’t been around much and the last couple of times he’s promised to visit he’s been held up by something. Both the girls seem very disappointed by it but I don’t know what else I can do._

_At least Buffy seems to be getting back on track though. After last summer, I thought she may have been slipping. She was so distant and nothing I was doing was getting through to her but she has been a lot better since getting home. I think it may have just started to hit her that Hank and I are no longer together._

_Hopefully you can drop around sometime. Give your boys a bit of a break from the road. I know it can’t be easy having a father who is a private investigator and travels so much nor on you. I know you miss her John, I do too._

_Joyce._

* * *

_Dear John,_

_I know you think that I would be angry with you but instead I feel numb. My baby is the Slayer. She said that she saw you about a month ago when she was fighting some monster (is that the correct term?) at the hospital. I don’t know how you came to fight the monsters that she does but I know why you didn’t tell me. I didn’t exactly handle it well when she told me tonight._

_It’s just all a little too much. I mean, the police came to my door and accused her of murdering a girl at her school and all I could think was how I just couldn’t believe that she had done that. And then she tells me that she’s the Slayer and that she needs to leave to save the world. She said it so casually like it was something she did every day. It’s not is it? I mean, there’s not a nightly apocalypse that she’s gotta keep preventing is there? Because I keep her home a lot of nights… I don’t suppose that really matters, does it?_

_And she tells me that you already knew. At first I was furious that you’d kept something like that from me. My daughter is in peril and you don’t even mention it? Are there others like you? Because she is still just a child, MY child to be exact, and I’m wondering why people like you aren’t doing a good enough job that it keeps my daughter home. I’m sorry, but I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around everything._

_She told me it was her destiny, that she can’t change it and that she never wanted it and in that instant I realised how much she had grown. How is it possible that with the careful eye that I’ve been keeping on her that I missed that?_

_She’s been gone for over two hours now and I can’t stop worrying. I told her not to leave the house tonight; in fact, I told her that if she left, she shouldn’t come back. How could I have done that? What sort of a mother am I? I didn’t mean it and she looked so hurt. What if she doesn’t come back John? I can’t let that be the last thing I ever say to her but I don’t even know where to begin looking for her._

_I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. Dawn’s headed to bed early tonight but I know she can see how tense I am. She gave me a big hug and told me that everything would be alright and I’m beginning to wonder where I failed as a parent. Buffy asked me why I hadn’t noticed all the blood on her clothes and I think I just didn’t want to know. How could I have not known that something was wrong? And now my youngest is comforting ME. It should be the other way around and it’s not. How long have I been ignorant for? How long have I been blind?_

_I have to go check, I have to do something. This waiting around is killing me._

* * *

_Dear John,_

_Thankyou so much for keeping an eye out for her and as of yet, there have been no sightings. It’s been three months and I can’t help but think that she could be in a ditch somewhere, or worse, on a slab, and I just don’t know it. She could be needing me._

_I’m needing her. This place feels so empty without her – even Dawn is feeling it. She mopes around a lot. Usually she spends a lot of the summer trailing after Buffy but she can’t this time. Every now and then she spends time with some of her friends but she mostly just waits. I, on the other hand, am afraid to leave the house. What if she comes home when I’m not here?_

_Every time Mr. Giles gets information on a possible sighting, he goes off to check it out but it is never her. I wonder if it ever will be. I can’t help but have some hatred for the man who was leading my daughter in this dangerous life she was leading and so the tension is high between us._

_I’m going crazy just waiting and hating myself for what I said. I never should have said it._

_Joyce._

* * *

Dean looked up as Sam entered the motel room and frowned. When had Sam left? He was standing there with damp hair so he’d gotten up at some point and had a shower, even left the room, and Dean hadn’t even noticed. Dean distractedly put his shoes on and went to reach for his duffle, only to find it missing.

“It’s in the car. Everything’s packed and the room’s paid. You really were engrossed in that, weren’t you?”

“Shut up, bitch.”

Sam smiled. “Jerk.”

They walked to the Impala and Dean climbed into the passenger seat as he started reading the next letter. Sam’s eyes opened wide in astonishment before he climbed into the driver’s seat, still expecting Dean to make some comment. He started the car and Dean didn’t even seem to have noticed. Sam turned off the stereo and waited, but still Dean said nothing. Shrugging, Sam pulled out of the carpark and headed for Cleveland.

* * *

_Dear John,_

_She’s back. I opened the door and there she was. For a moment I thought I was dreaming. I had dreamt the exact same dream before but this was real. All I could do was hug her. Something still isn’t right but she’s home now and I think we can sort through anything else as it comes._

_Her friends did throw her an impromptu party. Actually, I think it got crashed by a whole stack of kids that she didn’t know. Buffy was very overwhelmed and I found her in her room packing. I was so angry that she was leaving again and so we had it out. The party dissipated fairly quickly but her friends stayed behind to tell her how hurt they’d been when she’d left. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so close to breaking before._

_There were some things that she said which make me think she hasn’t told anyone what actually happened that night. Something made her run but she didn’t want to talk about it and everyone was angry. Then we got interrupted by zombies, of all things. Buffy sorted it out before there were too many casualties and she seems to be on the mend with her friends now._

_Dawn seems to have forgiven her very quickly. She couldn’t stop hugging her and she was walking around with a big smile for days. I hope that I can get to that point sometime soon. I love her more than I can say but I’m still hurting. I’m the parent, I’m supposed to push it aside for her but I just can’t seem to do that. We don’t have the connection we used to and I wonder if we’ll ever get that back. It’s definitely going to take time._

_Thankyou so much for everything you did to help. I can’t thank you enough for looking for her. And by the way, you still need to actually come here and see me. Stopping in town to kill a monster does not count if you don’t stop here too._

_Joyce._

* * *

_Dear John,_

_Now I know everything and I wish I didn’t. You’d better sit down._

_Apparently Buffy died. No one told me that. No one told me that when one Slayer dies, the next is called. The girl Buffy was accused of killing was a Slayer that was called when she died just over a year ago. She died. I outlived my daughter and didn’t know it. Buffy had to fight this master vampire (I gather that is just an old one) and he killed her. Bit her and left her to drown. It was only the quick thinking of Angel and Xander that saved her when they resuscitated her. And what she must have been going through…_

_The next Slayer has come to Sunnydale. Her name is Faith and I like her. She’s smart and she sounds like a good Slayer. I suggested maybe she could take over from Buffy and that was when she told me about how they’re called. It’s made everything more real somehow. Now I know that not only could she be killed on any given night but that she already has._

_And I also know why she left. Angel, the vampire with a soul that she was dating (and I know how weird that sounds), lost his soul and tried to destroy the world. She had to kill him but just before she did, his soul was returned. Instead of killing a monster, she killed the man she loved._

_Can I ask a question though? Are vampires with souls common? I’m still new to this whole ‘monsters are real’ thing._

_Joyce._

* * *

Dean glanced up as he finished reading the letter. He looked out the window but could see no discerning landmarks and had no idea where they were. Sam was surreptitiously watching him and thought that he didn’t notice but, if anything, he noticed it more.

Through the letters to his Dad, Dean felt as though he was getting to know Joyce and Buffy Summers. Their trials were being laid out before him with a stark honesty and it made him uncomfortable; like he was peeking into their lives.

He thought that he should stop reading them now but a part of him just couldn’t do it. He was absorbed in their lives now and even though he’d never met Buffy, he already felt a connection to her. Dean saw past her mother’s guilt and grief and it was as though he could see Buffy herself, tears slipping silently down her cheeks as she struggled with the things life threw at her.

Dean looked to the next letter and immediately became absorbed in the neat script, missing the small smile Sam sent his way as his eyes returned to the empty road before them.


End file.
